Are You Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution?

 

After some shenanigans that took place this week this question has come to the forefront again.  Too often those that have never been invoked in what it takes to change or even get a good bill introduced do stupid things that cause major problems. While they claim they are leaders but they are far from that. They are the problem and that has borne out in the phone calls I have received today from sponsors.  While I now have to repair damage that was done some need to take a hard look inside at what they fail to understand because they are often not told the truth.

This is an age old question that is asked often and unfortunately many fail to answer because they have never done their research and take a sheeple attitude and believe the myths that have been put before them.

You are the Problem if:

• You still claim that fathers have no rights. I have asked many times and not a single person can show me a state statute that states that a father has no rights. If you are saying it then show me that statute and name the state. 
• You claim that every state needs shared parenting.   Shows that you have not done your research and actually read the law. Every state has shared parenting in some form and the last to add it was New York.
• You think that you will protest the law into being changed. All you are doing is making everyone that is working on this look bad and proving the judges’ contentions that they get these decisions correct. Protest at a Courthouse, I will tell you what a magistrate told me that their view is about protesters: they sit back and laugh so all you are doing is proving yourself to be the clown.
• You think that there needs to be awareness raised on the issue.   Awareness on the problem was made over 20 years ago. Continuing to make that claim is nothing but beating a dead horse as the reports have been generating through the years and presented to numerous state legislatures We do need awareness, we need people that can speak to legislators without mentioning the results of their case, that can show the flaws in the law and present the benefits of the solution in terms that matter such as cost savings and judicial economy. All of this has to be done without attacking those that hold office and with precise and correct information that is supported by law and proper statistics. Go off that course and you accomplish nothing. I have seen the results first hand of what happens when you babble without substance.
• You think that because you went through a divorce and became a non-custodial parent that you alone will change the law with a few of your friends. Going through a divorce and “losing does not teach you what you need to know to change the law.  All it did was teach you the painful lesson of how bad a system is that allows a third party to make decisions on the family. You failed to get yourself educated on all parts of the law and likely listened to an attorney that told you “this is how the Courts will rule, take it of leave it.” The attorney works for you, not the Court. One of the smartest attorneys I did ever met was the one that showed me the actual statutes and explained them to me. I did not hire him but I listened and what he taught me kept me from future problems and showed me what I needed to help others and what needed changed within the law. The flaws are so subtle in language yet those flaws are and have been a disaster for so many.
• You think that your state representative or state senator is going to write a bill that fixes all the problems.   First off, they do not write the bill themselves, there is a group of attorneys that does the writing. That is the same ones that wrote the flawed law in the first place.  If you have no experience in writing a proposed law you will miss the subtle things that need changed because you think that your case is like every other one. Experience only teaches that from looking at all of the law and having been involved with cases and knowing how to win and winning them. That teaches the tricks that get used and then teaches how to write so that the tricks are taken away.
• You think that small changes are ever going to fix the problem and that small changes are all you will ever get passed. The small change philosophy that so many take is nothing more than a perpetration of continuing the current system. It is no harder to get a comprehensive bill introduced and passed than a small change bill that will have to be fixed time and time again. By the time the time the small change people catch up to where we are going their great grandchildren will be rocking their grandchildren on their knees. You have to be extremely prepared and researched. Read More Here
• You think that an E-Petitions has a legal effect. E-Petitions serve zero purpose but to make those that sign feel good. They have zero effect on changing any law. The only valid petition is one is done according to state law and actually places the decision before the voting populist.
• You think this an issue that the Federal Government, i.e Congress or the President can change. I see these all the time and most are very poorly worded and all that are directed at the federal government are a waste of time. 10^th Amendment places the issues of family law directly in the hands of the individual states.
• You think that the 14th Amendment guarantees you equal custody.  The 14^th Amendment has no clause and never had any intent of creating an equal outcome, only equal opportunity. This has been a false argument used for years that has repeatedly failed in the Courts. Read More Here
• You don’t know the question before it is asked. If you don’t know the first question or the response that you will receive from a legislator before it is asked, you will be stumped. If you don’t know the answer off the top of your head you will embarrass yourself. There is an adage among attorneys, “Never ask a question that you do not already know the answer to.” That applies when talking with a legislators in that you better know the questions that you will be asked before he or she asks them. Throw the smart phone away because if you have to look the answer up you just proved you have no clue.  
• You think that you should not be paying child support or that child support is a hustle.   Dumbest thing I have ever heard and shows that you really have no desire to be a parent. Who do you think is supposed to pay for your child, the rest of us? BTW- the tax dollars are everyone’s money being spent because you don’t want to take responsibility. There are flaws in child support but it is in the tables and the fact that the tables are regional not state specific.
• You scream that your case is all about Parental Alienation and you didn’t fight it right in the first place nor did you fight it in the right order.  I see this one pop up all the time from some people that I have talked with in the past or are currently talking with. If you do not deal with the issues of your case in the right order by taking out the first roadblock first that roadblock will remain. I shall point to one person that had an allegation made against that caused a children’s serves issue and he never did deal with that properly. Yet he will tell everyone that he is a victim of PAS. No he is a victim of not listening to the experienced and dealing with his biggest problem first which was to clear his name. Then there is the guy that likes to claim that his GAL was against him and corrupt. This guy attempted to get custody of all of his children but he failed to have proper housing for them when the GAL visited (GAL reported noted his children were sleeping in the living room on air mattresses), moved out of his place into a smaller place in the middle and then back into the original place while making no improvement. His excuse, “I was getting a larger place until they gave me my kids.” If the place is not in place when it all starts your chances are nil from the start. You shot your own foot off and have no one to blame but yourself for losing. Then the time honored one where guys never take the mother back to get the order enforced yet claim the mother is alienating them.  If you fail to force the order to be enforced it is your own failure that has caused the problem not the courts. Enforce the order or stop complaining that you are the victim. Your problem is self-inflicted.
• You think that the state is making money from federal incentives.   I want someone to show me how spending a dollar and getting a maximum of $0.58 back is making money. Moneys received are to cover administrative costs only and are not related to the amount collected.  http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/css/resource/fy2013-preliminary-report
• You think that supporting attorneys that violates Attorney Ethics are fine so long as you benefit from this. Violations of attorney ethics and those that support this because they are the lowest form of scum on earth and are the problem. Everyone says they want the system cleaned up and then get these carrots dangled without checking to see what is really going on. Those that are claiming they will get you a low cost attorney are receiving kickback from those attorneys. That is a violation of attorney ethics. I will not nor should you tolerate it as this is true corruption. Names are being complied now of the people that are doing this as well as the attorneys they are working with. The Disciplinary Council has been very interested in what I have presented so far in this ongoing investigation.
• You think that Tom Fidler and The Fathers Rights Movement are not guilty in their attacks on the lobbyist in Texas.   You have not done your research nor have you read the Complaint or the evidence submitted. You have fallen prey to his misleading statements and “poor pitiful me” bull. He is a pimple on the ass of the movement to change this system of law. Don’t believe for a second that the attack on the lobbyist is an isolated incident either, he and his merry band of malcontents have repeatedly attack those that are actually working on changes and telling fasle stories. Funny how a man that claimed he wanted to meet face to face and then backed out has run his mouth and encouraged others to do the same.  Same applies to Don Tenn of F$J.
• You think that National Parents Organization is working for you.   I have not seen and organization yet that is as despicable as NPO and their “leader” Ned Holstein. They have interfered and killed good legislation while pushing socialist family law on all of us. The only one to benefit has been Ned through the donations he has collected, $1.7 Million over the past 7 years. They have never written or introduced a single equal custody bill in this country and every bill they have pushed has failed. Yet he wants you to believe that he has done great things with all of his bought (confirmed by a news source) media attentions and false claims that things are changing. He and his Ohio buddy Don Hubin blocked the last introduced Ohio bills and could never explain what the flaw was in that bill. All they ever said was We don’t think it will pass, which was the same lame excuses he gave during the Massachusetts Task Force for not going after a stronger bill there. Hubin could not support himself in front of an Ohio Senator when he wanted SB144 weakened with their language. He sat like a box of rocks silent when asked to do so. May be why Hubin was such a failure when he was on the Ohio Child Support Review Committee.  See more
• You fail to place correct information in someone’s hand.   I see this too often where someone claims that they are helping; problem is they fail to get the correct information in the hands of the one they are helping. Instead of getting them the correct information they say “In my case……” or “In my state ….” Your case does not matter as every case is different. Your state does not matter unless you are in the same state; every state is different. . What matters is that the person gets the correct information to deal with their situation. If you don’t know how to look up state statutes or the Rules of Procedure, you will never be able to help anyone or you will give them the wrong information like I see done too often.
• You don’t know the real history of the movement and who the real leaders were.   Most that are claiming to be leaders now are nothing but whiners. They would not have been allowed to sit at the table with the ones that forged the trails. They don’t know who Victor Smith is. They don’t know Baskerville, McCormack, Thorne, Pickle, Ron Smith, Dave Levy are and they never will. They don’t know who the guys are that have created problems that have prevented changes from going through yet they continue to think they know the history.  The real history is not written in a book but it can be told of you know who was there and who really did what.
• You do nothing to change the system and sit and post pictures complaining all day.   Frankly preaching to choir and sitting and doing nothing positively and correctly to change the law is why changes come so slow. Legislators never see your pictures nor do they care. Same applies to your protest sign and your T-shirt. You have to present the problem in a way they understand and show that the solution creates a better state for everyone, not just you. Read More Here
• You fail to listen to the ones that have been down the path and have figured out a new way of changing the system. We are proud of the fact that we have listened to what legislators suggest to us in how to approach the changes to law we are working on. We are proud of the fact that we are often quizzed on much more than family law. We are proud of the fact that we have gotten more changes to the laws in the State of Ohio than anyone on else. We are proud of the fact that we have stopped more bad legislation than anyone else.  Yes there have been failures but even the highest hitting batter in baseball Ty Cobb only hit .366 which means he missed more than he hit. We are now at .650 and will climb with pending projects.

• These words may be harsh to some but they are honest and need to be said to all. Either grow up and get to work or accept that this will never change.

So are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution? Time you examined your own habits and flaws before you complain that all is not fair.  I, as well are the rest of the organization, made the choice to be the solution by working hard every day.