Things to Think About When Preparing a
Parenting Plan
6/19/2011
“Until death do you part” does not end with the breakup of the marriage or the ending of your relationship. If you have a child with what is or will soon be your ex-partner in marriage or partner in life, you will need to lay down the grounds rules and map out every aspect of how you will deal with all legal matters now and in the future as far as it concerns the raising of your child or children. The divorce is an end to your marriage “contract”, you are not divorcing your children.
All details must be dealt with to protect
yourself from future litigation and needless trips to court as well as those
expenses as well as how you intend to keep your child out of the drama that
surrounds an adult matter.
Remember these
things when you and your child's other parent create a parenting plan:
All decisions that affect parenting now and in the future need to be addressed
within the plan. This will be the blueprint that will guide you through the
time when your child or children have become adults.
Ideas from both parents should be considered; when both parents feel that they
are actively involved in the process, they are more likely to respect and
follow the plan.
Both parents need to define their role in the children’s lives after the
divorce as well as the roles of grandparents and new significant others that
may come into your life. The parenting plan should reflect these new roles and
responsibilities.
Parenting plans should be structured enough to be understandable and flexible
enough to be realistic.
Anything left undecided by parents will be decided by a judge or you can be
told to go back and start over again to make sure you have everything covered.
Some issues to be considered when developing your Parenting Plan:
The Children’s Schedule
What schedule with each parent follow and have with the children? You need
to specify what days and what time the exchanges will happen and where.
How will holidays be divided or will the child remain within the household that
the parenting plan calls for?
What special
holidays will you identify that need special treatment, such as Christmas,
Thanksgiving, New Year's, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, or any other holiday that
may be related to your religion?
How will vacations be handled? How much advance notice should be given? How
many days of vacation time will be allowed for each parent? Can that total be
split up or does it have to be taken all at once? Will vacations be limited to
certain times of the year?
What will be done when a conflict arises in this schedule? Will make-up time be
offered and required if there is a conflict?
Child Support
How much child
support is needed?
For how long will child support continue?
How will it be paid?
How often will it be paid?
How will support be adjusted to the cost of living; will it increase with
inflation?
Will support be adjusted to children’s development needs?
What will be the method of payment?
If needed, how will renegotiations take place?
Child Care
Who will care for the children when parents are working?
Should the other parent be called for childcare before calling a babysitter?
This would be what is commonly referred to as a “Right of First Refusal and
should include how much advance notice should be provided. Generally, these do
not apply to the time when each parent is working.
How will childcare or babysitters be selected? Or should that be up to the
parent whose parenting time it is?
Sick Children
Will the non-possession parent be informed of illnesses or injuries that
occurred during the other parent’s time?
How will the children’s schedule be handled when they are ill?
How quickly
should the other parent be notified in case of an emergency illness or injury
to the child?
Extended Family
What will the grandparents’ role be in the children’s lives after the
divorce?
Will the
grandparents be allowed to take the child on a vacation with them? If so, does
that time count as part of the parent’s vacation?
Religion
If parents are of different religions, which religion will the children
experience?
Which church will the children attend?
Who pays for religious education or special events (confirmations or Bah
Mitzvahs, for example)?
Extracurricular Activities
Which camps, lessons, clubs, or sports do the children participate in?
Do both parents
need to agree to that participation?
How will these costs be covered? How will fees and any special equipment or
uniforms be split?
Education after High School
How will these costs be divided?
How will the decision of which school the children will attend be made?
Will child support continue during college?
Moving
How will the moving affect custody arrangements?
What school will the children attend?
How will the travel cost be covered?
What notification
must be provided and how far in advance of the move? Always check your local
rules and state law as there may be rules or laws that cover this area.
Remarriage
How will remarriage by either parent affect child support?
How will remarriage by either parent affect the children’s schedule?
What role will the new stepparent play in the children’s lives?
Death
How will contact with the deceased parent’s family or origin remain in the
children’s lives?
Who receives custody if the custodial parent dies? Generally, the surviving
parent does in Ohio unless there is a major barrier to why they should not.
Access to Records
Regardless of custody, both parents retain access to all the children’s
records unless the Courts have specified why they should not.
Communication
Do you have communication problems?
Do you need to use a program such as Our Family Wizard to ensure that there are no issues?
If you do, how quickly must the other party respond?
Bills – You can use such a program for the passing of bills and tracking payment of bills.
Who will pay for
the usage of the application?
Health Insurance
Parents must
include health insurance as part of child support when private health insurance
is available to the supporting parent at a "reasonable cost". Thus, a
family plan should be maintained.
How will any uncovered expenses be paid?
How will uncovered expenses be divided and what proof must be presented to the other parent?
How quickly must
the parent present the unpaid expense to the other parent and in what form must
that be presented?
Tax Consequences
Who will claim the children as deductions for income tax?
Who will claim the "head of household status"?
IRS rules have
changed in this area and some releases must be signed so the non-custodial
parent can claim the child if you agree to alternate years on the tax
deductions. Consideration must be given to the need to file the required IRS
form and since it requires the non-claiming parent’s signature, what is the last
date on which that parent must provide the form?
What are the
consequences of claiming the child or children in a year that the tax deduction
belongs to the other parent?
Life Insurance Policies for Parents
Who will be named as beneficiaries?
Should these
benefits be placed in trust for the children for their use when emancipated?
Revisions of the Parenting Plan
How will revising the parenting plan be accomplished?
Should mediation
be required before any legal action takes place?
Do the children have a voice in determining if the parenting plan needs to be
changed or updated?
How often should any discussion take place to discuss possible revisions to the
parenting plan?
Ray R. Lautenschlager
Legislative Director
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