“Helpful Tips” That Kill Your Case

 

            Twice in the last 24 hours, I've heard of parents taking assistance from radical “advocates” that backfired and their children were removed because of the actions taken by the parents.  This really stabs at the hearts of those of us who spend uncounted hours helping parents.  Those of us who tell it like it is and use tried and true methods and work for new methods that make common sense.

 

            Well, that prompted me to make a list of all the things that parents have been told to do that hurt their cases, or had they done it, would have accelerated TPR.  Now, remember, with some caseworkers, “Good Morning” will get you in trouble.  But the following list has a more than 50% (some 100%) chance of landing you in trouble so deep that your case will be at least complicated.

u Cuss out the caseworker at the door.

u Call the highest person you can locate to complain about contact in general

u Call the new media just because you don't agree with the removal

u Refuse to do court-ordered services

u KIDNAP YOUR CHILD DURING VISITS

u Run during an open investigation

u Deny your caseworker entry to your home during an open case

u Threaten a CPS employee or a court employee

u Move to the neighborhood of the foster/adoptive family

u Accuse a CPS employee or court employee of a crime without solid evidence

u Use terminology that is inappropriate like “legal kidnapping” or “forced adoption”

u Be disrespectful in court either by word or dress

 

            There is a time to be more forceful, but when they have your children, your first responsibility is to get the children safely home, then you can fight for restitution.  Of course, if you HAVE PROOF that your children are in imminent danger, then fight quickly and properly, but always respectfully, even if you make your tongue bleed.  Weight ALL the pros and cons of your actions.  And make sure you weigh the cons very heavily.  And always look at the time.  In other words, will your actions extend the case time?